Monday, 1 April 2013

I have the Perfect Action Figure. He''s called Kev.

So I haven't been frequenting the blog as often as I would have liked lately. I've been feeling a bit uh .. overwhelmed by life. So I decided to start gently with a trip to Miss Selfridge to buy age-inappropriate wear. Welcome my new mini friend. I LOVE her.

Miss Selfridge mini, Miss Selfridge blue shirt, Primark black t-shirt, Topshop suspender tights, Urban Outfitters pumps, Ragged Priest jacket, Primark blue fur, Primark necklaces and H&M rings.

Still no pro at this photo malarkey ...

Now Miss S does a whole host of Barbie merch. I thought I'd made the best choice but now I think I would quite like the bralet, leggings and off-the-shoulder dress too. Before I turn 25 please.

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Harlem Shake It...

So uh, what have I been doing with my time?



Good work UCL.

But the puppies still beat you ...

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

SAG Awards 2013. Let's Have a Look at the Dresses...

It's Awards Season! The time of year when I truly hate myself. Considering that I will mostly just be watching E! for the next six weeks, I will be jotting down some thoughts on the gear people don to celebrate their blessed, talented and financially-satisfactory lives. I'm starting with the SAG awards last week because SAG is an enjoyable word to say.

I've enlisted the help of my friend Jon.

This is Jon.

Jon cares about fashion.

As do I.

Now I don't want to get into copyright trouble here. People paid lots of good money for photos of the celebs at these awards. So, I'm going to use an artistic representation of each dress based on things I found while mooching around Morrisons. Click on each photo and it'll take you to one of my favourite blogs - Go Fug Yourself, and you can check out their lovely pictures and opinions too!

Freida Pinto (Roland Mouret)

Jon Says: Nice shape, shame about the colour.

I say: Nice colour. Shame about the shape. Having been young and embarrassing throughout 2006, I can't look at a cowl neck without shuddering.

Rose Byrne (Valentino)

Jon says: Looks like curtains.

I say:  I NOW REFUSE TO WEAR ANYTHING BUT CURTAINS. Rose you are perfection. Always unexpected but never unpolished. Remember this? No words. 

Marion Cotillard (Dior)

Jon Says: Very classy.
I say: Agreed Jon. Agreed. A small part of me wishes that I could see her in the peach-skirted version that Raf Simons showed because I LOVE peach but there's no arguing that Marion looks brilliant here. What a babe.

Kerry Washington (Rodarte)

Jon Says: I like it. Not sure on the corset.
I Say: Knowing Jon as I do, I'm surprised that he doesn't whole-heartedly approve of the vigorous strapping down of lady parts. This reminds me of the silver balls they put on cakes when we were kids that nearly took your teeth out. Sweet but tough.

Kaley Cuoco (Romona Keveza)

Jon Say: Really suits her.
I Say: My chosen picture accurately reflects my thoughts ... I have to look away or I feel a bit vommy ...

Monday, 4 February 2013

This weekend I should have resealed my bath. Instead ...

I've been in Scotland.
Doing this.
New outfit post?

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Follow That Bird.

So, I saw this:

Chanel Couture Spring 2013:


So I popped some feathers on this weekend and hit the town. Now I'm a bit embarrassed to pop my picture right underneath this sexy ostrich.

Maybe let's make a little extra space between them ...


Zara feather skirt, New Look creepers, Primark peplum lace top, H&M leather jacket, Marks & Spencers embroidered waistcoat, Superdrug necklace worn on my big head and Maison Martin Margiela for H&M hair extension necklace.

Apologies, these pics are dominated by my shnozz. Sadly, that's just the life I lead. 

Now, this is obviously not quite the froth-pot that Mr Lagerfeld served up, and only a month after his Pre-Fall collections in Linlithgow too! Ah, the genius of Karl. I can definitely see it. Sometimes I wish I could hear it a little clearer. quotes him as saying post-show: "There is nothing more elegant than a certain kind of melancholia." Now er, is that clever? Or a bit twatty? It's kind of hard to tell from a man who asked his mother for a valet. For his fourth birthday.

Sometimes I really enjoy his insights: "I don't like that people butcher animals, but I don't like them to butcher humans either which is apparently very popular in the world." Yes Karl. Yes. But other times I wonder why the interviewer bothered writing it down: "Frustration is the mother of crime, and so there would be much more crime without prostitutes and without porn movies." I wonder what Karl thinks about a lady's frustrations. I suppose that we just smash our teacups when the horn beast comes a-knockin'. 

I found this one in a Vogue feature on Karl's 'best' quotes: "The advantage of fashion is that there is no racism." It's a tricky one. I've always wanted to believe exactly that but if you stand in Smiths and peruse the fashion mag aisle, there's often an overwhelming amount of pasty faces looking back at you. Flicking through the Chanel Spring 13 Couture collection where I found the fluffy crown atop this post, I counted 5 non-white faces. Out of 68. This piqued my curiosity. Elie Saab seemed to have 2 out of 47. And Dior Couture much the same: 2/46. Atelier Versace had 1 in 27 so that's an average of 5%. And Karl's dragging that figure upward.  

Here I think it starts to get uncomfortable. I'm sitting here doling out race labels based on one picture and a name. That's hideous and I feel embarrassed but I don't want to freak myself out of thinking about it at all. The Huffington Post back in 2011 compiled a list of black models that had appeared on the cover of Vogue. There were 27. The darn thing's been around since 1891. I couldn't find any figures on other proposed ethnic groups. 

Now my sister, and the wisest person I know, told me that one of the most important things that she learned at uni was that there is no such thing as race. No biological, pre-determined difference just a hideous clanger of a social set-up. I've googled Karl's comment and it comes from a debate with Noemie Leonoir about racism in fashion that you can find here. It's pretty interesting and he seems to argue that there just aren't enough well-known black women for them to hold more of a presence in the industry. Well er, that sounds a lot like racism Karl. It's interesting that Vogue didn't include these bits in their feature ... Thank God they left this gem in: "Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants." Well that's definitely genius.

Thursday, 24 January 2013

I Giveth Moisture and I Take it Away. Let's Talk Beauty Products in Winter.

I don't know about the rest of you but all this shitty weather has left me resembling this little guy.

Even E45 cream isn't cutting it. 
Here's what I've got going on facially at the moment. It's pretty basic stuff but it's all tried and tested for sensitive skin and wallets.

[L-R] Palmer's Oil for Dry, Itchy Skin, Nivea Soft Moisturiser, Simple Moisturising Facial Wash, Body Shop Seaweed Mattifying Moisture Lotion, Facial Exfoliator and Pore Perfector.

Nivea Soft is my all-time fave after I bought it when I couldn't afford my usual Olay. It turned out to be heaps better. Lately I'm squirting some Palmers oil into a handful of the stuff and smothering it on my dry bits. But as it's pay day tomorrow, I've been thinking of splashing out on something a bit more effective in these climes. This is my wish-list. There's a clear trend. They're all bloody expensive. I'll let you know which one I plump for. Any suggestions?
[L-R] Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturising Lotion, Dr Hauschka Creme de Jour, Elemis S.O.S Emergency Cream, Clarins Santal Face Treatment Oil, Origins Make a Difference Cream.
On a related note, sometimes dripping with moisture is pretty undesirable. Unfortunately, I've stopped washing my hair for winter. Honestly it's such a dry, frizzy nightmare that the post-wash taming process is my personal Hundred Years' War. I just haven't got the strength to fight. I'm also trying to make the little bastards grow so I'm treating them kindly and not frequently burning them while they sleep seems to be helping. For a while now I've been adding hair care brands to my lazy-girl blacklist. Your shampoo makes a massive difference to how quickly your hair gets greasy and some brands are simply much worse for this than others. I imagine it has something to do with the product build up. So here are the worst offenders, fellow lazy-girls. Avoid! For everyone else, I'm sorry if I made you feel dirty.

Sunday, 20 January 2013

Brighton Rock.

In possibly the worst timed trip ever, myself and my beloved sister - God we need to start hanging out with other people - took off to Brighton for some fresh sea air. Trains were cancelled, clothing items lost (don't get excited -  just a scarf), and there was some cheeky street-vomming. It was brilliant. And I'm never drinking tequila again.